worse

OH COME ON.
OBG I WAS FINE.
MEDICINE I WAS FINE EVENTHO TOWARDS THE END OF MEDICINE dah mula goyah.

COME ON. aku paling teruk posting Surgery ni.
attendance ke laut. hari2 lambat.
if only people understand the shit i go through during surgery.
erghhhhh kena jadi cam robot!

i fucking wake up almost every morning in tears.
that's bad, isn't it?
the pain, the fucking struggle.
i lost my focus. i lost my attention. i lost interest.

damn it i cant do this anymore.
i dont even know how to get back up on my feet anymore.

i used to escape my pain with sleep (still do)
used to escape it with caffeine
used to escape it with novels
used to escape it with insomnia
used to escape it with my study

but now none of those works on me anymore.